"Thahupoo": The freak show

Joe Average Citizen usually gains an impression of a surfing trip to the world’s greatest waves by looking at fascinating photos and video clips. In combination with media reports they create a lasting enough impression but are seldom fully comprehended. This time it’s different: Australia’s Jason Polakow, who has twice won the PWA Wave Sailing World Championship and is one of the world’s finest surfers, gives a highly personal account of his most recent surfing projects in Bali and Tahiti. But he provides far more than just an insight into the technical and mental challenges and dangers; he also talks freely about his cultural impressions and thoughts, helping Joe Average Citizen to better understand how it feels to surf through the world’s biggest waves. In his second travel report, Jason talks about his trip to Tahiti.

"Surfing or sailing the big Teahupoo wave break is an entirely different ball game compared with when it's mid-size. The wave shows no mercy to the weak and elevates the bold to a whole new level of surfing folklore. Sitting in the channel when it’s huge literally sends shivers down your spinal cord. The combination of the wave's daunting reputation and its thunderous roar truly distinguishes it as one of the heaviest waves on the face of the planet. Twenty feet separates you from the safety of the channel or a true 'ass lickin`' that you will never forget.

Water pours off the reef and drops down into a cylinder-like cavern, the likes of which you’ve never seen. The slightest rail change or midface trim can result in disastrous complications. The 'hold downs' are intense and you'd better have your vest on if you want to come up before the next wave mows over you.

There’s just no faking it. You’re either getting the barrel of your life or you're 'shoulder hopping' it with your friends in the channel, wishing you had packed a plate lunch for an excuse. Adrenaline quite quickly turns to embarrassment. Shoulder hopping at Teahupoo is much like a wart on the end of a dick; it’s simply not meant to be there!

If you look at the reef from the air you can see why the wave behaves the way it does. There is a small keyhole in the reef that allows a small channel to emerge. Its V-shaped bottom allows almost any watercraft a spot alongside one of nature's most spectacular sites. The other unique thing that separates this wave from most others is the fact that it breaks below sea level. You are actually so much lower than the water level that you feel like you’re in some sort of dungeon waiting to be let out.

The back of the wave is basically flat, so from behind there is no way of gauging just how big the wave is. All you can see are massive amounts of white water getting shot backwards as the wave explodes onto the shallow reef. The cries from the people in the channel are quickly dampened by the thunderous noise of the wave as it unleashes its fury upon the reef: usually, the implosion of the first wave sends so much white water in so many different directions that the second and third waves are more often than not unrideable. Surfers scurry to be the first to catch the first wave of the set. There is almost as much anticipation between the boatmen trying to get the ideal spot for a photo as there is with the surfers trying to catch the ultimate ride. All in all, it’s a freak show that any surfing enthusiast would enjoy watching.

With this sort of knowledge about Teahupoo, it was clear that we had to get in contact with one of Tahiti’s favourite sons, Robert Teriitehau. He’s basically like a god down there and is fully respected by the Tahitian surfing fraternity. It only took a quick phone call and a look at the weather maps to convince Robert to take us under his wing and give us a taste at what we have all been longing for. "